I've just had one of those days today that made me realize that I sure do have a lot to think about. Charles and I have discussed some "long term" plans (adoption being one of them) that has gotten my wheels turning. I've been asked by Elijah and Ethne's OT to continue therapy with her despite homeschooling. I also have had several others ask me about homeschooling and how to get started when I haven't really started it myself. So, I really have some planning and plotting to get done. I'm a bit overwhelmed, but it's a good overwhelmed. My house is almost caught up, and I'm starting to feel more at ease with the world.
My life has been such a whirlwind since I started college in 1998 that I honestly remember my childhood better than I do the past 11 years. I know--that's really sad! Gary's death has had me thinking about how I need to cherish EVERY day and EVERY moment with my family/friends instead of just the highlights. I need to meet each day as it comes and savor it. I'm really looking forward to the savoring!
So, this is my plan. I have not been finishing all of my chores each day. I have been setting things aside in order to spend time with my children. I am purposely neglecting folding a pile of laundry to read a book to my children, and it feels great! I know this might not seem like much to you, but to a mother of three who feels like she'll never catch up--it's a huge step. I was sick of being the "mean Mama" and Charles getting to be the one who had all the fun while I cleaned up the mess. Don't get me wrong, he helps around the house and is awesome, but I rarely put things down to help a kid. I feel frazzled and pulled in all directions.
Well, this week while I was writing a "note" for FB, I realized that one of the things that I love about my grandfather was that he always made time for me no matter what. If he was doing something, he would set it aside (if possible) and enjoy my company. If it was something that he had to get done, he would enlist my help. He made it apparent that I was important to him. I was important enough for him to pay attention to, and I realized that dirty dishes and dirty clothes were winning out over my own children.
So, pray for me as I endeavor to meet the emotional and social needs of my kids.
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Three kids and a house to maintain does that. I would suggest for you guys to not adopt, but that's something that only your hearts can decide.
ReplyDeleteAs for cherishing your time, it is all about priorities. Keep life simple, but also remember that they are all kids, and once they start growing up more and go to school daily, you will have more time.
And finally, you can't compare your role as a mother to that of your grandfather. Grandparents have more time and more patience to deal with their grand-kids. That is just life.
I love your blog :)
I have been thinking about and doing some of these same things. Like at the park yesterday -- after we finished eating lunch, Courtney and her kids walked up and Cate wanted to stay and play with them. So we did. Because we could yesterday. I realize that's not possible every day, so I let the pile of dishes and dirty clothes go on the day I could. Thanks for sharing this. I know many moms can relate. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThat's great, Angela. It makes me think a lot, too, since I am so "task-oriented" that sometimes it's hard for me to drop the "task"...dishes, laundry, etc, to just play with the kids. I need to worry less about my house (not that I don't need to take care of it...but it doesn't have to be immaculate at all times!!) and just enjoy this time with the kids..playing, learning, and growing with them. Thanks for sharing!
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